Why did the chicken cross the Road?
Posted March, 2003

George W. Bush
       We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.  We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not.  The chicken is either with us or it is against Us.  There is no middle ground here.

Al Gore
       I invented the Chicken.  I invented the Road.  Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.

Colin Powell
       Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

Hanz Blix
       We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.

Mohammed Aldouri (Irag ambassador)
       The chicken did not cross the road. this is a complete fabrication.  We don't even have a chicken.

Saddam Hussein
       This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Ralph Nader
       The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted.

Barbara Walters
       Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.

John Lennon
       Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

Aristotle
       It is the nature of chickens to cross the road

Karl Marx
       It was  a historical inevitability

Voltaire
       I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death it's right to do it.

Captain Kirk
       To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Fox Mulder
       You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more Chickens have to cross before you believe it?

Sigmund Freud
       The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

Bill Gates
       I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken

Albert Einstein
       did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

Bill Clinton
       I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.  What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

Colonel Sanders
       I missed one?